Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Luxodad 18 day.agoThree salesmen from rival insurance companies are bragging about their company's speed at settling life insurance claims. The first said, "When one of our clients died, his widow had her cheque within three days." "Three days!" the second scoffed. "When one of ours died, we were at the hospital to hand his widow a cheque as soon as the doctor pronounced him dead." The third one smiled and said, "So slow. Our offices are on the fifteenth floor of a building. One of our clients jumped off the fiftieth floor. As he was passing out floor, we handed him his cheque."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
I said I wanted to keep her on her toes.
No, not "Pirates of Penzance", that's a musical. It's Arrrrrsenic and Old Lace.
No, not "Pirates of Penzance", that's a musical. It's Arrrrrsenic and Old Lace.
His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out of the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?' The sperm nodded. Days later, the sperm was sleeping when he heard the siren. He was the first one out of the tunnel and the first to reach the sticky red ball. He was millimeters ahead of all his comrades. He bowed courteously and said: "I'm a sperm". The red sticky ball smiled and said: "Hi, I'm the tonsil"
...but multiplying by 2 makes me even number
I'm very proud of this off-the-cuff dad joke... My daughter is a ten-year-old who people think is 15. She's been at the 99th percentile for height her entire life. She normally eats like a horse, but for the last couple of days she hasn't finished her lunch. She says she's just not hungry. Me: "Maybe that means your growth is slowing down." Child: "That would be a relief." Me: "Why is that a relief?" Child: "Well, do YOU always like being tall?" Me: "Not always -- but being tall gets you a lot of respect." Child: "Why?" Me: "People really look up to you." She proceeded to chase me around the house trying to whack me on the head.
I'm looking for the man who shot my paw
I feel depleated
Said I’m taking things for “granite”
Urine for a good time.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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